Kittie compiles the musings of Prof. Geoffrey -  a purple cat. He is a very thoughtful purple cat with a lot time on his paws. As he is a cat, he can’t use the Mac very well to blog his quips so he dictates and Kittie jots it all down. Any typos are her fault entirely.

You can  write to P.G. by mailing Murgatroid Mittens, the house secretary here. P.G. does get a lot of fan mail but tries to answer everyone as quickly as possible.

Read on for the ‘P.G. Tips’ - a collection of pun-tastic aphorisms:

• Rationalism and Honesty. I see no reason to doubt them.
• If patience is a virtue and curiosity a vice, it’s time to poke about at things.
• Tabloid journalism - it’s a read herring.
• Taxidermy - it’s the Marmite of interior design.
• Time for Fashion: The past  becomes us very well - it tailor makes our present suit and lays out our future habits.
• Ah, Britain - a nation founded on tea and current puns.
• History – We make it up as we go along (quite literally). Literally.
• No-one likes Vulgarity but Love.
• Isn’t it interesting that those persons whom we dislike so much, we so love to discuss? In fact, the two are quite positively-negatively correlated!
• Curiosity - the most virtuous of vices?
• Tabloids sell noise - not news. They are ‘noisepapers’ which scream at you from the gutter shelf.
• She found that his intolerance made her sick - how ironic.
• It is in curiosity that we find allure.
• To truly experience a thing, you must be thoroughly immersed in it. To truly understand a thing, you must be thoroughly detached from it.
• Isn’t it interesting how those who sit on the fence are often those who created the fence?
• Speak with your mind, or heart - but not the spleen (let’s not consider any communication from anything further south, neither).
• Everyone has their reasons, few have an excuse.
• If you really cannot lose then you cannot really win.
• In business, ‘us’ comes before ‘I’.
• The essence of Affluence is in Demonstration.
• Malicious gossip is a bitter pill indeed - but it’s only poisonous if you swallow it.
• Call it what you like - just be sure to call it what it is.
• PR = Private Rule. Controlling the public relations of others for money, is private rule for taxes…

A growing collection point for Professor Geoffrey’s poems and the like.

Travesty

Curtains - at last!
An end to a badly acted farce.
No applause for a saboteur cast -
who take cloaks and daggers with them.

Sad

The page was turned,
The fruit had churned.
Old stripper with thoughts uncouth
Peels in the afternoon sun -
Clinging to memoirs of youth,
Like stale sheets betwixt sweaty cheeks
Long since spurned.